Thinking Out Loud: Domestic Violence Month

October 9, 2026 - 7:10 am

Kevin P. Henry

By Kevin P. Henry for Thinking Out Loud

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. But actually all year we should be aware of the emotional and physical violence occurring behind closed doors across the country.

Unfortunately, sometimes members of our society shift the blame from the abuser to the victim.

“Why don’t they just leave?” “They could just get a protection order,” some people say. 

These comments make the solutions to domestic violence sound simple.

But imagine being afraid that leaving could get you killed. Imagine your partner controls your money, threatens your children, or promises to find you wherever you go.

Suddenly,  statements like “just leave” doesn’t sound so simple.

An abusive partner may also escalate violence when they feel their control slipping away. So a protection order is something a perpetrator may ignore. A survivor needs a safety plan, somewhere to stay, transportation, and people they can trust.

Another question sometimes comes up: “Why did they go back?” Maybe they believed the apologies and promises that things would change. Some victims may even believe they are actually to blame for the abuse. 

And men, we have a responsibility to challenge and call out other abusive men who resort to emotional and physical violence. As with incidents of sexual assault, men are part of the problem and should be part of the solution. 

For more information about domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline by text or online chat, or call  800-799-SAFE.